R.I.P. Yeardley Love

      On May 2nd, Miss Yeardley Love, a 22 year-old senior at the University of Virginia, was murdered. She was only days before her graduation. She was found by her roommate at 2:15am laying in a pool of blood with bruises on her face and a swollen eye. Her boyfriend, George Huguely, was arrested the next morning and is being charged with her murder. He admitted to kicking in her door, shaking her, and violently hitting her wall on the night of her death. Prior Police reports confirm he has had multiple run-ins with the law, including one instance where he verbally abused and attempted to assault a female police officer. Furthermore, it is significant to note, police reports confirm a previous domestic violence call involving Huguely. Police responded to a fight between him and his father during a family vacation (Charlottesville News and Arts, 2010).
     Recently, I lost the friendship of a young woman, Yeardley's age, who I considered to be like a sister to me. After I caught her boyfriend cheating on her and noticed several red flags appearing in their relationship, I became very worried about my friend. There had even been a time where the police were called to intervene a fight between the two, resulting in a night of jail for him. I confronted my friend, and I told her I was concerned for her well-being and more so her safety. As hard as it was, I told her I did not approve of her relationship with him. Also, that I would in no way support it. Unfortunately, she chose to believe her boyfriend's lies over my word. After, much to my dismay, she hastily eliminated me from her life and launched a smear campaign against me. About five weeks after she terminated our friendship, she broke up with him because she caught him cheating on her. Because of what I have been through personally, what I have seen others go through, and what happens to countless women all over the world each day, I do not regret telling my friend I thought she was in an abusive and unhealthy relationship. Even though it resulted in losing a friend, I would still not keep my mouth shut if I had another chance.
     I must admit my friend's case was seemingly mild. Never did I feel her boyfriend was on the verge of murdering her, but who's to say? It's been far too long that we, as sisters, brothers, mothers, fathers, daughters, sons, friends, acquaintances, and so on, stand by and let this happen. The majority of these women will swear by the legitimacy of their relationship and that "he really is a good guy". However, I will not be a part of this facade. I will not sit silently while I watch or even suspect another person is being abused. We must not stand for silence. Too many victims are afraid to come forward in a society that often resorts to victim-blaming. Awareness and discussion are great tools to help erode the hush-hush attitude that has blanketed issues like domestic abuse and sexual assault for centuries. Complacency is my enemy. Complacency is our enemy.
     At what point does the "boys will be boys" attitude stop and real accountability take place here? Drinking, getting in an argument, and putting a dent in the wall, may be seen as "no big deal" or simply just blowing off steam. This may be true in some instances. However, there are cases in which minor property damage and threats are indicators of much deeper problems within the individual. Unfortunately, I know domestic abuse will continue whether I remain silent or if I scream my opinion from a street corner. What can I do as a single person? What can we do as a community, a nation, a planet, to bring these injustices to light? As before, I'm not sure of a solution. However, I am sure that I will never remain silent again. Even if that means potentially embarrassing someone, calling the police into a "false alarm" situation, or even more losing a friendship. Never again will I let the urge for silence overtake my need to speak out. I think everyone can help Miss Love, and millions of women who have passed, receive the justice they so rightfully deserve. We must be guardians of the people we care about and love, even when they may not ask for help.

A touching video about Miss Love's lacrosse team can be found here:
Love's Team Plays in Her Honor